Pi-brain. Pea-brain?

I've lost a quarter of the year. Searching, hoping, lamenting then searching again. A bit of a dismay at times but still not losing hope cos this is the journey of any great people. And as you've guessed it, I count among one of the greats :p

I've been thinking for a while now that I suspect I've degenerated from the fabulous pi-brain to a pea-brainer (yes, despite being pea-brained, I can still think that I'm a pea brainer). I refuse to think hard at work, refuse to absorb any info that I consider in the category of "for the highly-intellectual", and refuse to put in my best for work. I stubbornly assert that I'm in life vacation mode for at least the next 2 years and I should be ready for the next spur just before I turn 30.

I'm like a plant nearing wither and badly needs to ingurgitate new doses of nutrients. While I liberate myself from the burden of having to perform and give my best in the arena I work in, I wish to gain from what my environment can give me instead. In a nutshell, I'm badly in need of a paid learning opportunity. That's why I thought lecturing will suit me great this time. We can learn loads from the kids!

Onto the next quarter, I hope things will look up. My knots boil down to my internal barrier which I can't cross. Perhaps one of my greatest strengths is my very high level of self-awareness and my weakness' the lack discipline and grit to overcome or make do with situations. I rather move on and pursue what might interest and engage me more. Sorry pals, I've let you down on what I've tasked you to do.

I'm also sure my critics (as if I'm some celeb again) would pin this down as a personality flaw - what's wrong with me? Why can't I hold down a job? But I really have a lot I wanna do and can do well in! I want to retire with a glorious resume that lists entrepreneur, lecturer, part-time lyricist, author, tour guide, presenter/emcee, designer, entertainment beat reporter, part-time singer, volunteer, entertainer, and maybe politician in my colourful career. Perhaps what I want to do is as whimsical as myself and I guess my ultimate pursuit is being happy where I am, to bring joy and some positive effects in making life interesting for people around me.

ps: I realised my blog's "Pi's Picks" (see right bar) lists Music and Lyrics as one of the choices. Little did I expect this to be a title of a movie running in the cinemas now.