The 11th Hour

I haven't had so much criticism over a film for a long time. Primarily because I haven't watched enough, not because films are getting better. The 11th Hour just irks the hell outta me and I need to air it, so you know better not to spend your precious money watching. The only reason why I went to watch was because LYu has a free tix and needed invited someone (ie, me) to go with her.

Leonardo DiCaprio assembled stellar appearances ranging from renowned environmentalists (the man fronting the turtle clan left quite an impression - talk about 'turtle power'), scientists to even Stephen Hawking. And they just ranted on and on and on and on and on and on and on (so much longer than Energizer batteries - maybe it's amazing solar power that did the trick) about how the earth is facing its 11th hour - towards extinction of humankind and the species that have lived with us. Problem is, they talked so much, leaving no break in between for you to absorb the message. It's as if the editing machine got a glitch somewhere and it can't fade into silence for a second.

We all know saving the environment is paramount. The climate has warned us. Natural calamities have shaken us. And now the celebs went all out to remind us, through a 24 hour concert 'Live Earth' and now, this film. On a sidenote, I just want to highlight that when it comes to wasting the electricity, the entertainment industry surely does it best. What's the point of the film reiterating the earth in danger for 75% of time, while spending only the remaining 25% to talk abstractly about how we can "turn mankind's darkest hour into its finest"? Oh yes, I forgot, 11th hour is the title and my previous line in quote is the slogan. The emphasis is then of course, mumbling all about how the world is in danger to the effect of numbing you, then expound on what's more crucial - the action to take.

The film blames the government for all the wrongdoings that have been done unto nature, in the name of driving economy development. They talked about how US is one of the world's biggest pollution creator, but asked of the world to collaborate with it in saving its grace (and ours too - don't forget, if the US dies, we die). They urged us to stop crazy consumerism but conveniently forgot to mention how the celebs are the ones encouraging and endorsing it, through their lifestyle of extravagance and waste. Hey, I'm still taking public transport here but for them the ratio of private limo to a celeb is perhaps 3:1 on the average. 3's for the cars, in case you don't geddit. In other words, this film's a pretentious fiasco, all too contrived and ideas too imperialising.

And if I may add, who would pay to watch a film like this? Most likely those who ARE ALREADY concerned about the environment, along with some Leo's fans who simply love to see him anywhere. Then the message is not reaching out to the right people - people who are ignorant about the environmental crisis we are in and need to be awakened to senses.

However, good news to the filmmakers, I'm bought over to the cause. Not by merit of this docu, but all thanks to utilities bills. I could really save some cash, stinging a bit more on electricity and water usage. Environment-saving is a pocket-friendly movement. So this ends my blog. Computer shutting down.

Coffee Savouring Never Get this Fun

It's official. My number 1 favouritest K-drama, to date, is Coffee Prince Shop Number 1 or 咖啡王子1号店. In an attempt not to over-raise expectations, I shall try my very best in containing my about-to-spill-it-all urge in sharing what I [heart] about this drama.

Instead I present you 10 generic reasons on why you shouldn't miss it, when you decide to embark on a new show:

1) Eye candies

They should add a 's' to Prince. We're talking about at least 5 Coffee Princes here. This is one drama that's crazy about its 'visual appeal' i think.

2) Chemistry

Not only do the leads have great love chemistry, the cast as a whole shone through with brotherly chemistry, sisterly chemistry, brother-sister chemistry, old-folks chemistry... hahaha...

3) Great Houses

'Oppang' (rooftop) houses get redefined here. It's no longer those crampy attic homes which are cute for the first time and boring next. The 2 key houses featured in this drama got great panorama + to-drool-for interiors. So good, you thought you wanna live in Seoul.

4) Men who can Sing

Maybe a female director made the difference; maybe the guys offered to do it, but this drama shows their happy men singing. And they all sing considerably well.

5) No Wily Foxes

Sometimes you really wanna pull the hair of those vixens in some series, wondering how one can be so evil. This drama has got none of such. And you wonder how then does it keep the narrative interest going? I dunno... it works for me somehow.

6) Cliches that Work

This drama has no original plot whatsoever and it didn't make an effort to hide that. I started with sceptism too, wondering how a 'Hana Kimi' theme can be done better than the Taiwanese's adaptation. But the 2 cannot be put on the same scale. The approaches are different.

7) Great Soundtrack

If Coffee Prince doesn't score with you, you can't fault its soundtrack. Superb choice of music, not just typical Korean pop songs that go "sarangheyo sarangheyo". It has muscial depth, truly.

8) The Coffee Prince Shop

Yes, the very cafe where the key story unfolds! It's lovely where it is. The cafe has drawn such huge crowd ever since the drama catches on. I want a Coffee Prince Shop here too :p

9) Gong Yoo and Yoon Eun Hye

Watch it for them. Eun Hye shows her acting range. If you think she's good in Goong, then you don't know much yet. As for Yoo, he doesn't seem like he needs to act at all.

10) Miss It Only to be Left Out

With its humongous popularity, you won't want to be left out once the folks on our shore go into coffee-whiffing mode. This is Korea's highest rated mini-series to date, beating the records set by Goong. And surely, some magic is brewing within?

* Screen caps courtesy of Javabeans.

Fellow CP addicts who drop by, drop me a line too! :D

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

* spoilers ahead

For me who boarded the Hogwarts Express in year 2001, 4 years after the first book was published, it has been a worthwhile journey of spellbinding fiction enriched by reel characters whom many of us have endeared ourselves to.

The finale of Harry Potter was no less a magnificent adventure that begins right from its book cover. The hype surrounding its launch was befitting and definitely deserving as JK Rowling went on to tell the story with such delicate mastery and pulsating punch.

I leapt in celebration of a friendship trinity that completes Harry's valiance with measured intelligence and selfless loyalty. With this, I pay tribute to Ron and Hermoine for sticking it out and showing us the purity of what true friends means.

I ached in piognance for the tenderness of Snape's love for a woman he could never had and how he had braved his fight in solitude, urged on only by the magnitude of this love that engulfs him.

I am heartened that the faith we have placed in the wisdom of great Dumbledore was not broken, albeit suffering a slight taint that proves him human.

And yes, all the characters who have made this wizardry world sheer magic:
Fred and George whose humour belied bravery so lifting,
The rest of the Weasleys whose simplicity and righteousness made them great,
Sirius whose charismatic brashness provided Harry with such godfatherly love we wish he never lost,
Hagrid whose rough appearance is softened by his gentle ways,
Neville whose past held him captive but emerged stronger to claim his own victory,
And many more whom my limited list can't seem to aptly eulogise - Lupin, Luna, Kreacher, Dobby, Tonks... and many more whose acts exemplify admirable courage, faith and love.

I'm sure it won't take long, that I revisit each and everyone of them and venture on this journey, all over again.

A Muggle's Conquest

I completed the journey, at 2pm today.

It was almost effortless, despite the hustle-bustle that delayed my embarkation till 7pm in the evening yesterday. I know. The book must have been charmed with an eyes-fixated spell to keep me going.

The events unfolded in my head like how the boy-who-lived could see he-who-must-not-be-named's wrath rupturing through his mind, as I devoured every word sprawled over the 607 pages.

When the conquest of the finite chapters drew close, my emotions surged to applaud a fantasy that will be immortalised.

Machi Didi

My mamahood started 21 years ago on this day when a new bundle of joy arrived at home. I was 8 then and didn’t even know what labour pain feels like (anyway, I still dunno). But I picked up what a mum with a new born ought to know – preparing milk, changing diapers, cleaning the baby’s butts after poo…ok, before this entry turns out to be a Mother’s Day tribute to myself, let me introduce you to the F5 of the exceptional Chee family – my one and only DIDI who is everything his jiejie is not.

Under my care and upbringing, Didi has tasted all that nature has to offer, from poo to urine and the papayas plucked from the tree that flourished with the fertilizer that his rich excretion provided. While I’m sorry that I mistakenly served my poor Didi his virgin piss to quench his thirst on that fateful day many many years back, I must admit I’m not exactly remorseful that this has become a perennial joke amongst the Chees and our friends. Brudder, Jiejie knows you won’t be angry ;-)

The one thing I was really sorry about to this day was the one time I shouted through your ear while smacking you with the rotan for irritating the hell outta me when I was trying to catch some sleep. If your hearing was not as good as a result of this incident, Jiejie says A VERY BIG SORRY and bestows upon you an eternal amnesty for all (well, almost) the wrongdoings that you might make along the way.

I’m also apologetic for having ever doubted our blood relations. You can’t blame me cos you are everything against the family trend – you are skinny no matter how much you eat (do you know how exasperating that is for me?), you are ‘normal’ by normal standards with no nutty idiosyncrasy that your pa, ma and jie displayed and you don’t look like anyone of us – you are good-looking that even the aunty from 9th floor thinks you are F4 standard and the photographer of our family portrait thought you look like a rich brat from ACS! This said, I’m not suggesting that your jie pales in comparison with regards to the looks department. :p

This sounds clichéd but time really flies. I thought it was only yesterday that we pillow-fought, raced against each other with me proclaiming myself the champion all the time cos my legs were indeed longer than yours back then, watched Forrest Gump at Chinatown Point cinema together (and you asked me so many questions after the movie cos you didn’t understand) and shouted at each other every time I tried tutoring you that ma decided to send you to tuition class instead. Today, you walk faster than me, talk lesser than me, eat more than me and still shit more productively than me.

Now that we are both grown-ups, you beat me to several things like having a girlfriend (yes I know you’re attached ok) before the right guy can find me and I dare you to marry before your ah-jie settles down. You had won a prize at an open design competition when I had landed zilch despite being so talented. You bought me such an expensive gift during my last birthday when I haven’t gotten you anything so expensive to date (even on your 21st hatchday) cos I’m embarrassingly out of job again. Best of all, you stay firmly grounded and reliable unlike your sister who is in constant airy-fairy pursuit.

Happy birthday WeeWee! Thanks for being the brother that you are. You know I love you so. It would have been unimaginable to go through the last 21 years as the only child of this unbelievable family.

Pipi's Unofficial Resignation Letter (Glorious Uncensored Version)

After my bouts of outbursts and rantings on the very salar wtf skool system and that wtf KNNB (kei-neh-neh-bitch not Ka-ni-n*-b*h but pun's intended) who knows no better and wears heavily padded bras for her small neh-nehs (unlike me who is au-naturelle - small but nice), I am now ready to throw in the letter. Here, you read it first cos KNNB will only get to read after my plan B is in place.

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Dear KNNB

Resignation from the Post of Lecturer with XP

I will like to resign from my post as Lecturer with XP with immediate effect.

Much as I am sorry for the inconvenience I may have caused, it seems that our parting has been most inevitable given the misery that the school's system and my immediate supervisor have subjected me to.

Despite my unorthodox approach towards learning and development and quirkily attractive personality, your school's paradoxical methods certainly baffles me. It grieves me to think how the kids in this school will live a campus life less lived.

It shudders me to think how I would be penalised for handing out sheets of papers for students to brainstorm on. It shocks me to know that a career profiling on a working adult will more than suffice to make up for the internships that they are deprived of. It surprises me to see that you do not drill students to write long papers that stimulate thinking and hones analytic skills - a blatant taunt of the age-old conventional development tool that famous tertiary institutions around the world deploy. We are in for a revolution, not a convolution that holds back forward movement to a circular rut mind you.

And for all the incompetence of this system, I could actually live with it because I know I have a wealth of experience and skills to work around it for the benefits of our students. However your KNNB leadership is the ultimate put-off.

I came to teach because I have a genuine passion for education, not to act as instruments in glorifying your illustrious career by being your personal designer or event manager. Also, it seems to me you haven’t progressed to be a better person despite your years in good education. Please watch your derogatory attitude in delegating tasks to your subordinates. Many of us here are easily more superior in our respective corporate careers and deserve equal respect for the heart we put in pursuing an education career aimed at benefiting the young adults.

So, here I am causing you a tiny upheaval which of course is just a ripple on your big sea of responsibilities. I'll serve the notice period as stipulated in my contract.

You take care and beware the constriction you place on your bustline.

Regards
Pi** Ch**

I Need A Makeover?

I am going to be a lecturer! OMG! I AM GOING TO BE A LECTURER. And I sure worry some of you, don't I? I can't believe you people have so little faith over my image, or the lack of that is. Hmmpf!

Anyway, relax lar! I will bear the following 10 commandments in mind while I nurture these young souls who probably speak more vulgarities rudely than me :p

1. I shall not burst into an incessant rant of NEH-NEHs whenever I get excited, pissed off or agitated. NO, NOT EVEN WHEN XYZ STEPS ON MY TOES.

2. I shall not display the hooliganistic strut that will probably win me BIG fame on the runway as my signature catwalk.

3. I shall not prey those young cuties and make them fall head over heels with my 魔女的条件.

4. I shall not borrow money from my students if I run out of cash to buy food at the canteen - I rather suffer with unbearable hunger than lose my face.

5. I shall not be caught in my lok-pok garb when shopping in Orchard Road. Ha! But I'm ditching Orchard for Vivo City!

6. I shall keep a KEEN LOOKOUT for my friends of suitable candidates who show exceptional boyfriend or husband quality, and of course KIV the best for myself.

7. I shall be cordial and friendly to all my colleagues whether or not they are worthy of my respect. I'll keep my neh-nehs to private gatherings and under the breath when I'm alone in the toilet.

8. I shall say only Hi, Bye and "hey you're here to pee too!" in the toilets becos the greatest gossips and rumours get spread here after nature's calls flush away our caution sensors.

9. I shall sing and dance my rhythmless moves only in the toilet cubicle no matter how perky I may feel for the day.

10. I shall brainwash and influence everybody so that I can do what I restrict myself from doing in points 1 to 9 FREELY, HAPPILY AND ROWDILY.

Image-makeover? Tell me how to lar:


More pictures for you! Taken with my all-new Fuji F30 - at nite, in natural low light without flash!!! Best compact digi-camera! I highly recommend it:

Blowing Out 28 Candles

May I have a fulfilling year with
happiness to spread,
friends to share,
less problems to worry,
beauty to show,
drive to pursue,
bonus to keep,
new skills to boast,
ideas to create,
nice place to work,
money to travel,
concerts to watch,
figure to impress,
great food to eat,
pretty clothes to wear,
time to relax,
license to drive,
good health to live,
funds to assist,
wisdom to outwit,
luck to win,
jokes to entertain,
more friends to make,
hope to inspire,
guts to try,
strength to persevere,
no one to hate,
someone to like and
love sparks to thrill.

My Karmic Effects

Having lived nearly 28 years now, I'm now more convinced than ever on the truth in Karma. What goes around comes around. Everything that is happening to me now is the fruit (rotten or sweet aside) of the seeds that I've sown.

Used to think XYZ is a freak, still think she is but...but....our relationship might change after tmr! What an irony! Lesson learnt: be nice to all, think no less of people's capabilities and go see her without thinking too much of the hypocrisy of our friendship.

I made a boy cry when I was 9. I called him a sissy and look where I am now? Unmarried, unattached and homophobic. That cry-baby is perhaps happily married with a cute wife and 2 kids and drowning in bliss.

I am cursed by the "Keep in Touch" jinx. None of the boys who had said that to me ever kept in touch. I've been cracking my head for a reason and I think I hit the bingo! It's all because I've said similar statements to some other people and never really meant them. So those whom I've cared for to contact me didn't fulfill their promise either. *Baaaaaaah......!!!*

Ever critical of people, I've lost count of how many passer-bys / acquaintances / TV stars / friends I made fun of. And this I'm quite sure attributed to my inability to lose those extra pounds (esp those off my butts). Have you heard heaven's jealous of the all-round talent cum beauty? I happen to be talented and pretty. And these recent years, I'm all-round.

The divine powers must have figured that my mother has suffered enough fools with my complaints against her obnoxious ways. In turn, I'm transformed to someone with maternal instincts so strong that even a friend over the cyberway proclaimed I reminded him of his mother. I shower people I like with motherly care and now aim to be rated PG by hand-holding young(er) people and act as their Parental Guidance, away from home.

Someone tell me how to sow the seeds of good karma, so that i get:
1) The man I want?
2) The job I desire?
3) The good life I so honestly deserve? :p

a little progress everyday :)

A little progress everyday
to get you out of my head.
So it won't be myself I hate
I guess the yearning will abate.

A little indifference each time
to accept you didn't mean a dime.
So what if I'm back on the find?
it'll just be a fun joke over my inconspicuous grime.

Now I've got a whimsical rhyme
to mark the passage of my silly pine.
I'm strong, I'm great, I'm still as fine.
The right one will come along by twenty-nine.

This (Un)Creative Business

Quick, get me out of this recurring situation of irksome clients who kept stealing the joy of the creative business from me. Blame it on poor luck, maybe it's us, or maybe the big break has yet to come, but truth be told - I'm tired of all these nonsense. Let's see how irritating the top 3 on my dart board can get:

1) The I MUST SEE IMMEDIATE RETURNS Businessman - Behind the guise of an earnest attitude to embrace the new economy talk of branding and creative advertising is an incorrigible approach that believes in putting up haphazardly planned (IS THERE A PLAN AT ALL ANYWAY?) marketing strategies. Ads SCREAM "SALES", "AMAZING RESULTS" and all that ra-ra ALL the time! Ad bookings are done as and when he feels like it. Product taglines change every other day. Better yet, decisions are always done the very LAST minute thinking that all will fall into place as long as he pays...yet for an issue as small as doing a tiny signage, he takes days and a boardroom of brains to deliberate.

2) The I THINK EVERYTHING IS EASY Idiot who thought her middle name is Smart - This woman smutters comments that apparently didn't go through the big brains. She could be saying your idea is good one moment, and trash it the next cos she DOESN'T HAVE A MIND OF HER OWN - it's swayed by where the wind from her boss blows. More insultingly, she could raise some examples of works and thought they could be done like, in a snap. Hallo, what ignorance! It's sad how people who haven't learnt, experienced or seen enough could be calling the shots, determining the value of our works. Big companies won't be paying hundreds of thousand if getting a cow to dance can be done in a blink darling. Your peanuts budget is only enough to pay off my illustrator to draw a nice monkey on surfboard.

3) The CHUP CHUP...WAIT LET ME THINK Old Bird - Having been in the business for some time now, this mad hag is eager to drive others into her realm of nuttiness. NEVER commital until the very very last minute, she takes us through the whirlwind of a vomit-inducing roller coaster ride until the ULTIMATE deadline is declared. Again, thinking (and showing) she's some smart ass, no ideas are ever that good, except hers of course. We've come to a point of not having to propose much but just to hear what she has to say and agree. Yes, that's all we need to do to earn compliments like "Great job!" from her. Nice, isn't it?

Of course, I can give incessant recounts of hellish jobs that are akin to slow-release toxic, waiting to creep to my once fresh mind and turn it all mouldy. What to do? BEAR WITH IT.... better things await once I scrape enough profits from whom my enthusiasm was plundered.

History Repeats Itself in America

I have a prophecy. Pretty scary one. It'll rock the dow jones. It'll shock the whole world (once again!). It'll mock at those who takes a serious view on being politically correct.

America will be assailed. This time by a spew of blazing sauce, setting the land on fire, burning the guts of those who tread near. Trouble is, the arsonist's an insider, a home-grown true-blue American, in conspiracy with ahem, some harmless-looking executives from (very embarassingly) my hometown.

God bless America.

My Grandma is One of a Kind

For my grandma. It seemed almost pretentious that I could write about her after her demise since we didn't really talk when she was around. But I saw more pretence amongst some people, which is probably best left unaddressed now.

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My grandma was a dreamer. She believed she hold the key to Singapore Pools’ Toto winning formula. She was Sesame Street’s greatest fan and would watch it religiously for ‘inspiration’ to formulate her next bet. She never did strike a huge fortune, with the biggest winning only in the hundreds. But she shared all her prize money – bought us food, candies (when we were much younger) and once, even sponsored a trip for the family to visit our relatives in Indonesia.

My grandma was much naive. A patient at the hospital where my late uncle was receiving treatment had requested her to send a letter to the Philippines. Helpfully, she brought the letter home, asking me to complete the favour. She inspected the stamps I had glued on the envelope and told me the letter would not reach. She had noticed that I did not use Filipina stamps to send the letter from Singapore to the Philippines.

My grandma was quite a food-lover. She used to cook for the family and was the critic of mum’s cooking. She recalled recipes off her head and had a good appetite. The last time she could be fed through the mouth, she asked for green bean soup. But I knew she would rather have rojak, cha kway tiao or roti prata.

My grandma was a beauty. When sorting her things out, I found passport photos that chronicled her age. I noticed how emaciated she had looked in the most recent photo; I realised how much I had neglected her. She loved to look good and would draw her brows every morning. She would sometimes sigh at her wrinkled face. I think I chose the right photo in her memorial.

My grandma was a survivor. Most aches and pains were endured in silence. She escaped from a full stroke that could land her bed-ridden. The partial stroke left her still mobile, though less nimble.

Then, my grandma fell very sick. The onset was sudden and the cause unknown. She fought the bacteria hard and overcame it. A second attack seized her; she won again. However she did not score a hat-trick when hit the third time.

We had never been really close. My care for her had always been obliged in duty and respect. We seldom talked but she had always stood by when the family needed her. She loved her children and grandchildren. The proofs of her love, I leave it to every one of us to realise and remember.

And if she lived again, I wish we could know each other better.

Bitch Next Door

Talk about Good Neighbour Day. It was casualty in the making when I moved into my new office at Chinatown area this year. Being new and trying to make some friends, I took the initiative to establish a nice hello with my neighbours, including the one whose room is directly opposite mine. When I saw her door left open, I knocked and greeted, only to be splashed wet with a cold "I'm very busy you know". That sealed it.

My efforts to smile at her went down the drain with her deliberate attempts to look away hostilely whenever I walk past. It must have been grave inferiority complex at work; or simply a serious untreated case of autism. Things are not looking better, if not worse recently. She has been causing me and my colleagues displeasure with rude shuts of door whenever we tread close. She lets off wimpy, pathetic growl or shields her face with whatever's at hand (wallet, pouches etc) whenever we walked past each other. Today and over the last one or two occasions, she banged and smashed things against the partition dividing our offices. The loud, unwarranted violence left paint dust on our floor and us appalled. Now, if the subject in point is reading this, I kindly invite you to knock on my door to air your grievances civilly.

And how have I been a good neighbour? I put up with idiosyncracies that border on barbarism. Until now.

Escapade

Escape...

into the concocted fiction of tv dramas
into the arms of your imaginary perfect partner
into the twilight realm of isle beach
into the breezy car ride along ECP
into the warmth of your comforter
into the unbridled surf in your dreams
into the make-believe fantasy of tall stories

where who you are does not matter
where what you can do is unrestrained
where how achieved you are is of no concern
where life's many questions need no answers
where the colours you see are richer and warmer
where weight defies gravity
where you are the lead you want to be.