Long Walks and Thoughts

One of my favourite walks stretches from the spunky Esplanade to the heyday long-gone Clifford Pier. This evening I decided to take a stroll on my own, after getting some stuff from Funan Centre. As usual, sea-nery, sets against the soft orange lamp lights of our city nightscape never fails to be therapeutic. This is when I shut off from the surroundings, and got in touch with the inner thoughts. And I haven’t had time to take a breather to think things through since end 2004. First, it was the year-end rush for deadlines, then there was the long-awaited Taipei trip to keep me busy, and finally after the trip, the need to quickly get back on track for some serious work.

When I have time to take some time off, like this evening, some sense of wistful longing always gets at me. Longing for moments that have slipped me by; moments that seemed not too long ago but are gone and no longer within grasp.

Over the last two years, my relationship with my cousins came to an all-time low. I remember the times we used to take long walks really late at night when I flew over for visits. Then, we talked about dreams and our lives. I was 17 or 18, with life’s many big unknowns waiting to be discovered. They (4 cousins in all) just got out of college, waiting for the right opportunities to make it big. And before we realise how years have caught up, my favourite cousin was getting married. And that was when our relationship took a turn for reasons I’ve yet to fathom. The strain remains a standstill and none of us had really sat down to talk things through. Not when we’re quite remotely apart.

Then I remember the fun times in poly, when we did filming into the wee hours. And the evening classes in SIM, when we enthusiastically attended class not for fear of missing any lesson but for the nonsensical ra-ra and bla-blas. I love “groupie” stuffs. The feeling of togetherness, of working towards a goal as a group. The best groupie days were those in school – CGS, NP, SIM… Work hasn’t helped fill the hollow thus far. But I certainly hope I grow my company to eventually build a team of such very soon.

My thoughts flitted by very quickly from one to another on evenings like this. I started to think about my next step from now. My career’s at a crossroad. There are too many uncertainties and quite a lot at stake. In fact, my work has consumed so much of my time, mind and everything else over the last year that I haven’t really thought about other things, like taking time off to learn something new; meeting new people and friends, or keep in touch more often with people who used to be a part of my life. I am very much aware that this has to change. Let’s say, towards second half of the year, I'll embark on a personal trip of new learning points; I promise myself I’ll focus on getting Runway to fly well during the first half.

For all the little things I remember, I hope they stay etched in the mind just the way I like them. I’m grateful for having those times I could only now relive in thoughts. And I’m glad when I’m hit by solitude, I have the companionship of memories.

How about you? What crosses your mind in the quietude of the evening? Who, from years ago, do you recall when you catch up with memories?

Bitch Next Door

Talk about Good Neighbour Day. It was casualty in the making when I moved into my new office at Chinatown area this year. Being new and trying to make some friends, I took the initiative to establish a nice hello with my neighbours, including the one whose room is directly opposite mine. When I saw her door left open, I knocked and greeted, only to be splashed wet with a cold "I'm very busy you know". That sealed it.

My efforts to smile at her went down the drain with her deliberate attempts to look away hostilely whenever I walk past. It must have been grave inferiority complex at work; or simply a serious untreated case of autism. Things are not looking better, if not worse recently. She has been causing me and my colleagues displeasure with rude shuts of door whenever we tread close. She lets off wimpy, pathetic growl or shields her face with whatever's at hand (wallet, pouches etc) whenever we walked past each other. Today and over the last one or two occasions, she banged and smashed things against the partition dividing our offices. The loud, unwarranted violence left paint dust on our floor and us appalled. Now, if the subject in point is reading this, I kindly invite you to knock on my door to air your grievances civilly.

And how have I been a good neighbour? I put up with idiosyncracies that border on barbarism. Until now.

Sing 'Top of the World' in Mandarin

Now and then, I would do a crass (if not hilarious) Chinese adaptation of English songs. Some of my prized works include Baa Baa Black Sheep, Do-Re-Mi, and now, "Top of the World". Sing to the tune of the song! The lines don't quite rhyme but hey, the meaning does correspond. Enjoy.

Top Of The World (世界高峰)

Such a feeling coming over me
有种感觉拥上我心头

There is wonder in most everything I see
我看到的事物都是奇迹

Not a cloud in the sky
天上没有云朵

Got the sun in my eyes
眼中充满阳光

And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
如果这是梦也不奇怪

I'm on the top of the world
我站在世界的高峰

Looking down on creations
看着地上的事物，

And the only explanation I can find
而我找到唯一的原因就是

It's the love that I've found
我得到的关爱

Eversince you've been around
自从你的出现

Your love puts me at the top of the world
你的爱让我站在最高峰

Escapade

Escape...

into the concocted fiction of tv dramas
into the arms of your imaginary perfect partner
into the twilight realm of isle beach
into the breezy car ride along ECP
into the warmth of your comforter
into the unbridled surf in your dreams
into the make-believe fantasy of tall stories

where who you are does not matter
where what you can do is unrestrained
where how achieved you are is of no concern
where life's many questions need no answers
where the colours you see are richer and warmer
where weight defies gravity
where you are the lead you want to be.