The Pals Checklist

I've been thinking for a while now, on where I draw the line and set the standards on who qualifies as pals. My standards are as capricious and erratic as me myself. While the quality of friendship is not defined by time, there's no way I can deny that my best pals are those I've known for the longest.

As a self-check, and to keep myself rooted, I've decided to put up a checklist (among my many other checklists) of how to sort out the psuedo-pals from the real ones. Entry to the privileged REAL pals list is automatic, needs no application and not subject to your approval.

1) Someone who shares my level of crappiness, liking for some songs and preferences for some food is not necessarily a good friend.

2) Someone who (thinks) share my frequency and remembers every bit of the things I've said is a friend but not necessarily a pal. For palship to develop, there must be mutual exchanges and willingness from both sides to let each other into each other's lives.

3) Good friends check on your well-being every now and then. Good friends doesn't let you take all the initiative in planning to meet up or keep in contact. Good friends shares your joy and pain and won't take credit for having made life better for you.

4) Palship is not about befriending a nice good person. It's about hitting it off and a certain degree of attraction / agreement to each other's personality, value systems and background.

5) Palship is as queer as love relationship. It's an equation that is not simply derived or rewarded by compatibility, perseverance and one party's willing intention. It takes two hands to clap and a whole lot of chemistry to make it work, and last.

All the above said, I'm taking some names out of what I'll consider as friends and relegate them as acquaintances. For those who have been nice, my deepest appreciation, but point 2 and 4 still apply. Oh...feelings....you are such an unfathomable thing!