I paid so I bitch

I'm so orbidgood. I should NEVER EVER agree to attending a wedding dinner of a tween* fren unless one of the following circumstances is fulfilled:

1) someone I get along with / genuinely wish to see is coming along
2) I've been arranged to sit with a selection of friendly, eligible bachelors
3) I owe the the host a big favour
4) I've been formally engaged (and will be handsomely paid) to be the emcee. Btw, if you don't know, I won't be emceeing for just anyone anymore unless it's a good fren or an official engagement that will pay me at least $150 for the job. Service is on me for pals.

*tween fren refers to someone who is not an acquaintance but not quite a fren either.

Let me try to remember what happened at this quite forgettable dinner (sorry "O", I know u put in loads of effort, well...it's still not my or my best frens' wedding):

Was seated with Flower, Mountain, Nehneh and JJ from my alma mater. From the nicks I've given, it's obvious who I don't like huh?

Nehneh just can't stop answering me in English when the rest of us were conversing in Mandarin. Hello! Working in US MNC (so she claimed) doesn't up your class; having to travel 90% of your work time doesn't make your duties godly too. She couldn't stop laffing mockingly when I refer the wedding favours as "free gift". Gawd saves those who can't appreciate colourful use of language.

She was very offended when I asked her the same question she asked me "are you married?". Old maid Pi is not complaining so why should you? But she dealt me the biggest offence when she thanked me and said "good job" for entertaining her and the rest. I'm mega pissed. I entertained cos I'm a bundle of joy, not becos I'm a clown. Watch it you poopoo nehneh pok.

Anyway, frens who dun click are just mere tween frens. Now that age is catching up, I shall not subject myself to more of these.

And here are some stuff you should NEVER suggest to me if we ever have a chance of planning my wedding reception together:

NUMBER 1
No tacky SMS dedication during the reception where messages will be projected on screen simultaneously as they are being received.

NUMBER 2
No giving out of wedding studio shots photos as mementos for the guests.

NUMBER 3
No ching-chong music ala the style of DCJ theme or the Chinese funeral band.

Number 4
No blatant distribution of wedding services vendors' namecards or marketing materials.

Number 5
No yawn-inducing mock-cake cutting ceremony. C'mon, surely I can afford a real cake.

Number 6
No off-the-rack wedding invites.

Number 7
No useless wedding favours.

Number 8
No standard Richard Claydermanish type of background music. This is a wedding reception we're talking about, not a shopping centre.

With this, I conclude that I'm not attending BBB's wedding dinner in view of the extremely high yawn rating I'll probably give it. I'll put up with her irritating presence over a short lunch and present her with a well-wishing gift. Pls dun probe why I bother. She had afterall been a good fren, once.